I have a strong mix of emotions about our hospital stay. I am beyond thankful that we got to come home today and baby Paisley seems to be doing well. The new High calorie formula seems to be doing good things for her. We can already tell a difference in how much she sleeps and how long she stays awake between feedings and I hope and pray that we can get back to a normal life. But I still feel a sense of guilt when i think about the mama who's two year old is undergoing his 5th bran surgery tomorrow morning, who couldn't go home to lay her dad to rest, who's child will be in and out of hospitals the rest of his life. What makes us so special. Why did God smile on us? What makes us more deserving than them? Don't get me wrong Im not asking for suffering for us, I am very thankful for the blessings in our life, but why cant that family have the same blessings in theirs? and even that family is blessed compared to those who walk into the hospital with a child and walk out without a child. Why cant they be as blessed as her, or as us? There is so much i dont understand. This week friends of ours welcomed a new addition to their family, while I listened to stories about parents who lost their addition to their family, and met a woman who has to tell her two year old he cant run, because it causes vibrations in his brain that could kill him. Im a keep to myself kind of person and I knew these issues were out there but I never really came face to face with any of them because ive kept myself and my family so guarded..Myabe some of me wishes we still lived in our little bubble.. Another part of me wants to do something.. I dont see anything I can do, but I wish I could. Why cant everyone be equally blessed? My thoughts and prayers go out to that family who will be enduring a brain surgery on their two year old, the dad and brother who cant be there for it, the mom who cant be anywhere else and is going it alone, to those who's children dont make it, and to those who just dont know what tomorrow will bring. I hope that enough prayers are sent up for these folks in hospital situations that God cant see his way past doing anything but blessing each and every one with a good outcome in whatever they are going through tonight.. You guys send up all the prayers and good vibes and well wishes you can for the family going through the brain surgery tomorrow and for all the families going through anything. and thank you all for every effort you put forth to show support to my family... Peace and love ya'll...