I call him God, you might call it the universe, or karma, or whatever but thing is its all the same, its that thing that shapes our lives that is out of our control that we just have to trust to lead us in a right way. This experience we are going through with our sweet Paisley has been so many things, scary, tiring, aggrevating, eye opening, and humbling, and those are just the things that come to this sleep deprived mind right away.. At first we were all worried, but then it seemed like they weren't really doing much to help her, they wanted her there so they could watch her but no one was "watching" her.. We were aggrevated that she had been there 3 days and still wasnt sure when she would be coming home.. That is until we got to talking to a woman who's baby has a brain problem and she has been there for over a month, her child has had 4 brain surgeries, and another on monday, she is from 4 hours away, her husband and other son are back home while she is here with the sick baby, for financial reason, and while she is here her dad passed away and she had to decide if she should leave her child alone and go be with family or stay with her son. She made the choice to stay with her son and so will not be there to lay her father to rest.. Her story really shined a new light on our situation and had me thanking God for our much lesser problems.. Her story really changed my perspective.. But thats not all the magic god is working in our lives. It just so worked out that the people outside of my family that I consider myself closest to in the world ended up at the same hospital at the same time, and a relative I havent seen in??? 30 years was there too, and not only there but in baby paisley's room. A family that has stuck in there and tried and tried to befriend me no matter how stubborn I was, no matter how sure I was I didnt need or want friends, they hung in there until they have grown on me and I have become thankful for them in our lives. You see Im a bitch, I automatically dont like you, no matter who you are, what you do, im not gonna like you, cuz you are not gonna hurt me, liking you opens me up to shit i dont want to feel. But they wore me down, and they are at the hospital welcoming their new bundle at the same time traci and paisley are there and they have spent nights with her and been so helpful and kind how could I ever try to push them away... This is not the only time they have gone above and beyond for my family. and god put them in the same hospital at the same time.. WOW.. he sure knew what he was doing cuz they have been wonderful.. The other person i consider myself closest to in the world, found herself at the same hospital at the same time not for herself but for a friend, and she came and gave a bit of her time to traci and Paisley and our family and it means alot. Meanwhile, not one single member of our family has came to visit or give one bit of their time to be supportive of our girls. Not one.. Well until tonight.. The craziest thing happened.. Traci went down to spend a few minutes outside while I sat with the baby and she came back in and said "I met the nicest people in the elevator and they are visiting the room next door but when they are done they offered to come in and pray for paisley" Well naturally being guarded as I am, Im thinking "oh lawd what kind of whackadoo has this child invited into her room, once the nurses see these whackadoos come into her room they might not question it when they come back later and kill her" So Im sitting on edge, uneagerly anticipating the unfolding of these events when who walks through the door to pray over my new grandbaby but my long lost cousin, my mothers brothers child that I have not seen in 30 years. She and her husband are the nice people traci met in the elevator... I thank them and the other folks who know who they are for being their for us when those who should be are not. I dont know if god is working magic in our lives or in some of these other folks lives through us, but im glad to be a apart of it.. Dont get me wrong we want baby paisley home and healthy and I am not glad for anything she is going through, but I am glad to be part of god's plan and thankful for the lessons ive learned, the bonds it had formed between me and these people i tried so hard not to like, Im glad for realizing that your village isnt about who's blood is in your veins but who is there willing to give of themselves when you need it most without question, and without expecting anything in return. My villiage is a band of misfits that are just the perfect mix of imperfection, Im feeling very blessed tonight, and despite paisley's problems Im feel like everything is happening as it is meant to... I appreciate all my online friends too who have offered encouraging words, and links, and info it means alot.. I love my little village.. sweet dreams