I recently joined a facebook group called Annewakee survivors.. I was glad to find the group, or rather be led to it. Its been nice talking to people with similar teen stories as mine.. Its part of our culture to  want  to tell our "remember when stories". When you spent your memory making years institutionalized ( I only use that word for lack of a better one) its hard to remember when. You could tell your stories but anyone who hasn't been there doesn't understand. Finally I found a place where they understand and want to hear my Anneewakee stories.

I read alot of people talking about hating it, and I agree it was no picnic. But it wasnt all bad. maybe for some it was but not for everyone, and while there are a few who probably just like pouring salt in old wounds, I think most of the people in the group I've joined aren't there because they hated the place.

Whatever Annewakee took from us it gave us something priceless in return.. Real friends. Those people who share a similar story to you, who were where you were and made it out the other side, those people who shared a group therapy with you, who have cried on your shoulder, and lent you theirs, who know your most haunting, intimate details, and never judged you, and never told a single person. These are the people who never stabbed you in the back, because you were more than friends. You lived together 24/7 and you became family. For some of us, the people at anneewakee were more like family than our actual families were..

when you're a teen you're so wrapped up in yourself and everything is "me me me " and you dont appreciate those connections. You tuck them away and get busy living your life and lose track of those people. Then one day here we all are, our kids are nearly grown, we find life slowing down a little and we start longing to relive the best time of our life, and missing those people who made it the best time of our lives.

So all of this is just to say that whatever Anneewakee took from us it gave us real friends, that we could really trust, that even now aren't telling your deep dark secrets. On the outside, the "normal kids" probably did well to find one friend they could trust like that, and us messed up kids got a whole group of people we could trust like that... So thanks Mom, dad, and Anneewakee for labeling me a messed up kid..

I had the time of my life...